Let me tell you...
about emulating Leonardo.

I have always admired Leonardo da Vinci. He experimented in both art and science, and experienced his share of both success and failure. I admire that attitude to be unafraid, to pursue truth, to have faith in your observations, and to continue onward no matter what obstacles present themselves. In that way, I have always hoped to emulate Leonardo. Not only by doing art and science, but by pursuing each without fear in an effort to do some good.

As a scientist, I have been interested in the visual system and how the brain processes visual information. I have also studied nerve regeneration. Ironically, the week before completing my Ph.D. in Neuroscience at Temple University in Philadelphia, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS), a defining moment in my life. MS is a degenerative neurological disease that damages the central nervous system. It is not contagious and not often directly fatal, but it is unpredictable. Symptoms caused by MS vary in severity and duration and may range from blurred vision and numbness to blindness and complete paralysis. Although my disease has not significantly affected my vision, I do have partial paralysis in my legs, difficulty standing and must use a wheelchair. The cause of MS is not yet understood and the form of the disease that I have has no proven effective treatment. Since my diagnosis, I have devoted myself towards understanding the disease through scientific research, but also through my art. I hope that my paintings may bring greater public awareness to primary progressive MS and encourage broader scientific research in this area. Primary progressive MS can be devastating to those who are afflicted with it and to their families, but like any major life-changing event chronic illness can also bring new values, new appreciations, and new colors and textures into one's life.

There is a sharp distinction between art and science, and studying a disease through art is not the same as studying it through science. My art is about my own emotional, intellectual, and spiritual journey, and within that context MS plays a significant role. When I paint, I feel as though I am on a journey of discovery. I allow myself to think about problems in a different way. I hear the words of great people and imagine the journeys they have taken as I navigate my own course through an expression of color and texture. My paintings tell me about my journeys. They are a record of where I have been. And, they express the artistic side of myself.

Dissimilar as we may be, both artists and scientists are creatures of observation. What some overlook, we take joy in discovering. Things perhaps not clearly understood, but things we believe to be real and open to interpretation. We are in constant struggle to describe what we observe. And, even after we convince ourselves and others that we have seen some truth and made sense of it, there is always some doubt. For the artist and scientist both recognize how imperfect our human capacity is as we search for moments of understanding in a sea of complexity.

Several years ago a friend of mine referred to a painting that I had just finished as being "either a complete abstraction or a landscape, but either way poetry." I was amused by my friend's comment, and although I have never painted poetry, I do feel that my paintings convey a certain beauty, mystery and brevity.

Brett Curtis Weber, Ph. D.

published in part October-November 2002 - InsideMS, National magazine MS Society

Hear Narration / Written by Frederick Jerant

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